What I learned becoming a Dive Instructor

So I've learned a few things while becoming a dive instructor and subsequently doing my specialty training.

1. Assume people are stupid, they might not be but thats how the dive industry expects you to treat people.

2. You don't really have to know how to dive to become a diving instructor, you can be taught everything you need to know in a week prior to taking your instructor exams.

3. Everything you were taught is probably wrong and there is an easier better way of doing it, you just have to find it. This doesn't just apply to diving either.

4. Money, you need it.

5. Do as I say not as I do.

6. Believe it or not but computers solve all of lifes problems, or at least most of them. Expecially when they calculate your decompression times for you which subsequencely stops you from getting Decompression Illness/dying after completely ignoring the amount of time you were supposed to have spend on the bottom which happens to be roughly 100' underwater. If they didn't want me to stay down that long how come they gave me such a big tank?

7. Instructors need to know less than divers do. I can do a specialty instructor course in 2 dives, it takes everyone else 4-5. So I can teach it having done less dives than you will have to do...makes sense to me...

8. If your course director can do it so can you...just don't get caught

9. If it is underwater it probably won't kill you. Unless its a jellyfish, then your going to die.

10. Sharks are like puppies, they like to come see what something is but then get scared and run away.

11. If you know a straight guy that got beat up in a gay bar it is your job to ridicule him with it for the rest of his life.

12. Being a dive instructor does make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Expecially if they are wierd Japanese girls.

Thats only the start of what I learned but its late and I have a job interview in the morning with Tusa Dive, hopefully it will all go well. And as soon as I get pictures from the diving I did on the last few days on the SS Yongala I'll be posting them, including the picture of me laying next to a 7' long shark on the bottom.